90 Days to the Apocalypse -- Day 55

I know a lot of people who stopped logging in the moment the game was announced as closing, and I see a lot of people saying they can't bring themselves to log in because it's too sad.  And a lot of these people also say they can't bring themselves to level any characters anymore, or work on badges, because it's "all meaningless."

I have a lot of different thoughts on this.  First, the two thoughts above are kind of contradictory.  The game meant so much to you that it hurts to play now, but because it's ending it means nothing.  Eh.  The game means as much as it ever did -- really, for me, it means more because these are the last weeks I'll ever be able to play.  I don't want to spend my last weeks wallowing in self-pity and being afraid to log into my favorite game, because then my last memories of the game will be finding out it's going to close and being depressed.  I want to go out on my own terms.  I want to play right up to the end and say I've accomplished something, and if I enjoyed playing the game before then I enjoy it even more now because it's more precious.  And if getting badges on my badger is meaningless, or leveling up a new alt is meaningless, then it was even more meaningless previously, because it was something I could do any time I wanted or put off indefinitely knowing that someday I'd be able to do it.  Now, it's something I do knowing I won't have another chance.

To me, what I'm doing in the game right now has more meaning, because the game will soon be gone.  I've had to narrow my focus to things I really want to do or really want to accomplish.  It's sad that I won't be able to do everything I had planned, and it's sad that I won't get to see all of the cool stuff that was coming, and it's sad how much emptier the game is these days, but it would be even more sad if I failed to do any of the things that I still have time to do.

Tonight I played Mouse Police through several mayhem missions.  Because I have two accounts I was able to do some stuff on my own, and I earned the Steel Canyon, Independence Port, and Talos Island mayhem explore badges, along with the hero defeat badge and the Impounded badge for 100 cars destroyed.  I also  killed a lot of cops and news stands/phone booths/mail boxes/fire hydrants, so I'm working my way through those badges as well, and I did 2 or 3 arsons, that's another badge I'm working on.  In the end, though, I had five badges, and that put me at exactly 1200.  And that's certainly been one of my long-term goals for Mouse Police, to reach 1200 badges.

Since Sept 1st I've also leveled up Princess Ozma to 50, a staff melee / energy aura brute (both sets I'd never played to 50 before) and Forest Goddess to 50, a nature affinity / water blast defender (also both sets I'd never played to 50 -- which makes sense, they were both new since July).  And I've taken a 2nd Titan Weapons character to 50, and I'm working on a third, who will be my second super reflexes character at 50 (and first in several years, and first brute), and I also got one of my oldest blasters to 50.

What I'm trying to say is -- it would be really, really said if I'd stopped playing on Sept 1st and had not done any of that.  I'd always regret never having played a level 50 staff melee.  I'd always regret never having played the rest of the SSA arcs.  I'd always regret never having really played nature affinity or water blast after buying them.  I'd always regret that I spent so much time on badges for Mouse Police, but then I stopped a couple of years ago and never picked it back up, never made that push to 1200 badges or beyond.  And I'd always regret that I didn't take the time to archive my characters, didn't take the time to do things one more time, didn't take the time to finish what I'd started.

Yes, it's sad that the game is ending.  But when it ends I want to have as few regrets as possible.  That's why I can't really chime in on these "I can't play because it's too sad" posts.  I don't think you do yourself any favors by letting your favorite game end on NCSoft's terms rather than on your own  terms.  I know it must be hard, but I think these people are going to look back later and wonder why they didn't log in for one last task force, or one last whatever they liked to do most in City of Heroes.

If you had one month left to play your favorite game, what would you want to do most?